Thankful that I have decent friends who won't introduce me to drugs, give me their parents, or take any bullshit.
I don't remember ever being at the end of my rope like this. Feeling like there is no escape, hope, solution or way to deal. Now I realize three times people have confronted me and what could I really do, sorry. Remembering these examples and what happened to them, I know it's a really bad sign, the pointless last-ditch move of desperation for anything to improve.
Thinking in movie tropes...
[Here is a really fun and interesting website about TV and movie tropes, stereotypes and storyline cliches:
Some interesting ones are the "manic pixie dream chick" and the "magical negro".]
I was thinking of scenes in movies where the evil flails around trying to hide or escape before it finally succumbs in a howl of pain. I'm flailing. What a disaster. I don't even want to talk to me.
I was thinking of scenes in movies where you fight off the ship that's slightly bigger than you only to discover, now that it's vanquished, that you didn't even notice the *MOTHER SHIP* that was there all along.
I was thinking of scenes in movies where the hero finally understands that help is not coming and starts stringing up paint cans from the ceiling or crawling through the underbelly of the plane. Maybe I am there already. I'm being creative. I'll try anything. I'm thinking outside the box.
1 year ago