Sunday, May 23, 2010


My Dad had a mild heart attack last week but he is on medicine and they sent him home again. I have to be careful not to drop him so he doesn't explode. Well, he smiled. What can you do? I have something I'm working on for him, I'll let you know how it goes when it comes together.

Had a good weekend. My youngest and I just got back from the park a little bit ago. We climbed underneath the bridge, down the slope, jumped over the creek and climbed back up the other side.* It was a total blast and really good exercise!

Climbing ladders was just the beginning. I've also gone exploring empty places, gone to an art show, gone to a rock show, watched some scary movies and stopped at a carryout for milk on the bad side of town during daylight hours. Why? Because I am such a badass I am considering dreadlocks? No, I'm just feeling my oats. I expect I'll keep myself reigned in. Most likely I will eventually try to translate my newfound bravery into something that makes sense.

I can't do negative reinforcement, it just shrinks me and ruins me. I've learned that everything new and good comes through fun for me. I think it's been natural like that for me with my kids. All of the best conversations I've had with them where I've taught them values have started with goofiness and then got serious and goofy and back. We can switch back and forth at the drop of a hat. They are so smart and caring and awesome. They totally get me. I am so blessed. They have interesting thoughts and good values and wacky senses of humor.

We have a bit of a laziness thing going on but I've got some theories... They get it from me. It sounds really weird but I think I've got to find (I can't think of another word) permission to allow myself to decide how I want things to be and allow myself to affect change on my environment. It seems kind of backwards but I think I would really love to have a painting and work outward from there. I liked this guys stuff when I saw it. I don't know. I could also copy a setting from IKEA. : )

I don't think I'm just misinterpreting things or not a good mom because I act too weird with them or I'm making them weird. HAHA! Sorry I can't even buy into that. I am HAPPY my kids are like me. I put a lot of love and effort into that! I am proud my kids are like me!

*It sounds dangerous, but in actuality we were more like crabs, picking our way down, hanging on to trees. See, I am torn between wanting to seem cool and letting the world know I'm not that reckless! : P

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