From the Grocery Store

I needed to buy a notepad at the grocery store. Here are some of my more interesting thoughts:

- "Peach Fruit2.0 rocks!"

- "They have organic mushrooms? That must mean my regular mushrooms are not organic. I'm so glad!"

- "Give me a minute, and I'll give you rice!"

- "It's great to pretend you're a foodie. You have more fun, buy less, and spend the same."

- "I want fellow shoppers to look at my cart and think, 'I want to go eat at her house!' ...I hate ruining the aesthetics with a giant package of toilet paper."

- "I can't find foil! Foiled again!"

- There was a lady in the wine aisle in a daze just staring at a bottle like she was in love. I went to the other side and whispered "No. Don't do it!" She didn't.

- "Thanks, cashier-lady! You make me feel like Santa!"