Thursday, June 24, 2010


My years seem to have a theme that runs from Spring to Winter. 2008-2009 was about healing. Physical therapy. Health. Lessons which I still carry forward...

Last year seems to have been about acceptance: There might be some problems... It's okay to have problems. I don't have to just feel guilty and beat myself up and try to hide myself.

It's okay to be as wonderful as I am too. I don't have to feel guilty and beat myself up and hide myself.

I could only get so small. It's so different to shift the main focus from minimizing the bad to maximizing the good. Potential.

Sure the change in flow has spit out some junk too but it's not so bad. Moving some dirt and bugs and dead leaves to make way for the flower. We're just going to have to grow around the rocks instead of through them.

One sentence that has come to mind is "Do what works better." I learned what I feel "better" is, now I'm working on "what works", next I will work on "Do". (Color coded filing really works for me, just thought you should know.)

I wouldn't be human if I wasn't disappointed... It takes a lot to just give up everything, even if it didn't work. I'm not going to give up my whole life though. I'm not going to give up everything about living my life and raising my children and the love I did get and the love I did give.

I'm just bummed that we went through the whole big Mexican standoff only to find out neither one of us is Mexican.

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