Overkill Kills

Last night on my way home I sang along to Carole King's "So Far Away". That song usually makes me want to go to karaoke. This song has a lot more oomph live than it seems like it would.

But I don't even want to go to karaoke by myself anymore. I haven't gone since July or August. It was always crappy to go by myself. While you would think massive applause from drunken strangers would be fulfilling... not so much.

This time, hearing the song made me want to play piano. I would change the rhythm a little, syncopate it slightly different because my cadence is different. I've always had trouble with the timing in a certain spot, because that's not how I sing it. ; )

So, thinking about playing piano, about pulling out my Mel Bay #1 beginner piano book *sigh* and the many times I've tried and given up 3/4 of the way through, having just learned chopsticks, frustrated and angry because everyone already knows chopsticks and this is a huge waste of time.

I am so glad I'm in this phase of trying to improve. (It's a bit of a mess, like when you clean the closet and everything's all over the place. So yeah, I'm not done.)

But just thinking about trying to stop making the same mistakes over and over is helpful for anything. I do not have to get out the Mel Bay book and fail again.

I used to feel ashamed about not being able to read music. And I didn't know if it was failure because I could never get there, or pridefulness because I have an awesome ear and perfect pitch and I can manage anyway. Wow. I think I may have a small insight into how illiterates feel.

Anyway, I realized the goal is not to be a piano player, it's to learn "So Far Away" by Carole King on my keyboard. I don't care if I have to look up chord progressions, find the sheet music and decipher it one note at a time or watch someone play it on Youtube. I am not a music major. Nobody cares if I do it right.