I misunderstood what perfectionism was. I thought it was a condition of people who were great and just trying to get over the hump. But it's also the condition of people who are average but feel bad about it.
When I decided the difference between right and wrong, being a good girl I picked the BEST. 'For grades I'm going to get A's. I'm going to work really hard and always give 110%'
Looking at my values, I have extremely uneven segments of good and bad. Good is a little tiny strip at the top and bad is everything else. Sometimes, if I work really hard I can meet my standards. But most of the time I can't. Surprise: Failure.
The insidious thing is: bad is so huge that if you go bad, you could do almost anything.
1 year ago