Wow. Sorry to be missing in action but I think I am busy being happy.
A few days ago I found a file where I wrote "you can't expect to be happy until you realize you can't expect to be happy". Which I didn't even realize was a way for me to justify/pass off lowered expectations as wisdom...
You people, and you know who you are, really helped me become a person. I thought it was just the strange random magical luck of the Internet that found me people who were willing to be interested. And wonderful people willing to talk to me. THANK you.
You know, that was really kind of a rough ride for me, coming through all that. I think denial was my best coping mechanism. There was a lot to break through. I am so grateful to be free. I want it to be known that I made myself unhappy. As a square peg, I really had no business trying to deny my corners and squeeze into a round hole. You can't fake your personality away. I can't believe I could try to pretend not to be weird! That's like my main appeal! : )
Well I still have some technical difficulties and I've just finally figured out that amicable doesn't mean easy and I really do need to do ALL the work and that's okay I just needed to accept that. Meeting to get together and "decide things" that never actually happen are still time-consuming, time passes... So that's my first work of the year.
Of course I am not dating but I have a couple prospects that I'm happy about. One of my friends even gave me a nice Christmas present.
I hope those reading this can feel my love and appreciation for your attention, acceptance and concern.
1 year ago