Thursday, November 19, 2009

Magical Feelism

It's always so fun when I think about things. Nothing is ever as bad as I worry it is and my real motivations are always kind of silly.

I was thinking about why I've never made any kind of website. They're cool, they're not impossible, they're are even easy ways to do it.

I'm surprised to find out I might be super competitive. (It's a wonder that all the karaoke contests weren't a clue...) I think I wouldn't want to try anything I am pretty sure I will suck at. I've seen bad websites and I want no part of it. Design is not my talent. I'm kind of infamous with my workbooks, I make them right, other people make them pretty.

But one interpersonal skill I did learn from karaoke is "You never sing someone else's signature song." And from band: "Everybody gets a solo".
"From each, according to his ability, to each, according to his need." I'm a Marxist for talent! : )

I think competitiveness actually plays a part in the issues I've been having this year. I pretty much vanquished everything except my feelings of envy: comparing my life with other peoples' and feeling like what I have doesn't stack up. But a friend mentioned something last week that shows me that a lot of what I do have is a worthy goal. Makes my grass a little greener. I can align myself with that. Joy to the world, much obliged, I'll run with it. One less issue, one less reason to be upset about having issues...

Now if I could just stick with that tack without letting my desire to be cool and my dorkiness get in the way.

Another thing I realized about how I feel about programming. Okay, "secret language that causes things to happen". LOL, I think it's magic! I think I already had that opinion a little bit about statistics. Am I the only one who thinks "statistics are magic"? Statistics, "the ability to predict the future". I also think foreign languages are pretty mystical too: "The ability to communicate with aliens" : )


Sue said...

ah, but you are so much more evolved that me, you're only unwilling to try something if you are sure you'll "suck" at it. I on the other hand wasted so much of my earlier existence on not doing anything I couldn't be "really good" at.

Programming -- now that is magic. And yes, sometimes I think statistics are magic -- although sometimes its like the magic of stage magicians who only make you think you see something ("Lies, damn lies, and statistics")

Qaro said...

I just have to notice my nonsense to start fighting myself back. It's like my Dad and Mom are at war in my brain...

Of course, by "suck" I mean "not be completely and fabulously awesome" LOL! : )

And by Statistics, actual math, not journalistic spin. Ugh. Which is a skill though, and probably magic as well: "the magic of undue influence"!

One time I freaked a coworker out. As soon as I installed a SQL query to check the Z-score of the standard deviation for the current vs. historical costs of Purchase order line items, I being incredibly annoying.

...And I think jargon is super cool as well! : P