But We'll Always Have MySpace ; )

I was a victim of cyberterrorism, or something, and my Facebook is gone. I have no idea how I am going to continue to play Bejeweled. I bet my friends are full of mixed feelings at the lack of my "One of the Best Scores in the World"...

The problem with Facebook is that in addition to real friends, random people send you friend requests. When you get a friend request and you see they are a friend of your husband, you might assume that's a safe choice.

I think a personality trait of accountants might be exagerrated honor and righteousness. I would push my heart through a cheese grater before I would do anything wrong. That's my personal legend.

So now... What's this chat room thing?...

Board of Health

I took the boys to get H1N1 vaccines this weekend. They were prepared for huge crowds. Everything was cordoned off and the workers were in orange vests. They had like one family at a time every 5 minutes. After Z got his flu mist dose he daid "They practically water-boarded me. With diseases!" Cute.

...And Stay Prepared

Have you seen this performance art piece/prank where someone gives a software demonstration and it all goes horribly painfully wrong? But it's kind of wow. I may have shared this already, not sure.

Anyway. Somehow I just knew this was going to be the only uh, conference video you could see me in. This speech was interesting because the speaker threw away his notes right before he walked on stage and decided to speak off the cuff instead. (I'm not quite sure how to avoid trackbacks. ...I think I got it.) You could listen to it... If you don't need that lesson, just catch me at 3:44 Keep in mind, that was less than four minutes in. : )

Magical Feelism

It's always so fun when I think about things. Nothing is ever as bad as I worry it is and my real motivations are always kind of silly.

I was thinking about why I've never made any kind of website. They're cool, they're not impossible, they're are even easy ways to do it.

I'm surprised to find out I might be super competitive. (It's a wonder that all the karaoke contests weren't a clue...) I think I wouldn't want to try anything I am pretty sure I will suck at. I've seen bad websites and I want no part of it. Design is not my talent. I'm kind of infamous with my workbooks, I make them right, other people make them pretty.

But one interpersonal skill I did learn from karaoke is "You never sing someone else's signature song." And from band: "Everybody gets a solo".
"From each, according to his ability, to each, according to his need." I'm a Marxist for talent! : )

I think competitiveness actually plays a part in the issues I've been having this year. I pretty much vanquished everything except my feelings of envy: comparing my life with other peoples' and feeling like what I have doesn't stack up. But a friend mentioned something last week that shows me that a lot of what I do have is a worthy goal. Makes my grass a little greener. I can align myself with that. Joy to the world, much obliged, I'll run with it. One less issue, one less reason to be upset about having issues...

Now if I could just stick with that tack without letting my desire to be cool and my dorkiness get in the way.

Another thing I realized about how I feel about programming. Okay, "secret language that causes things to happen". LOL, I think it's magic! I think I already had that opinion a little bit about statistics. Am I the only one who thinks "statistics are magic"? Statistics, "the ability to predict the future". I also think foreign languages are pretty mystical too: "The ability to communicate with aliens" : )

Mustard

One of my sons has a natural talent and interest in cooking and the other one is not into it at all. I don't pay attention sometimes and agreed when someone said my son was 'real smart but has no common sense'. GRR... Um, not any less than any other child. That's what I'm here to help with! I'll try to pay more attention from now on... : )

See, the thing I had in my hand on display was the sandwich he made for my lunch: A piece of bologna on itty bitty bread ends all covered with mustard. The whole inside of the bag was mustard.

When I asked my husband to go get bread and he said "We have bread!" I think that was just a technicality.

It's one thing to care about cooking and do well and it's another to not care and slap things together but it's the worst to be awful yet really care about it. I remember when I was his age... I was terrible. I'd be so ashamed I'd go through an entire dozen eggs trying to make breakfast for my Dad and brother. "No, don't come in here, it's okay!" My brother came and looked in the garbage, "You know, we could've still eaten those..." "No, they're bad! The yolks were broken!"

You know you're getting somewhere in life when you realize most of your trauma are just interesting stories...

I'm not going to worry about rescuing my son's honor. I once mentioned not really feeling that spiritually engaged at "rock 'n' roll church". I felt so, so bad...

(I actually do think there could be a place for church lite. I just think it seems slightly whats-the-word to be both super fun yet have extreme views like dinosaurs in 6000 B.C. I think atheists are tough as hell. I just can't do it right now.)

WANTED: Happier Books

As a matter of fact, I need recommendations on books that are well written but uplifting. I've been in an angry mood and I need some warm fuzzies for my heart and head! : )

Books I Don't Get

There are some books that are classics, but after I read them I just don't understand what the fuss is about. Here are my thoughts on some of those:

"The Stranger" by Albert Camus - He was a sociopath. So?

"Metamorphosis" by Franz Kafka - Dysfunctional family. I read the graphic novel and then I read the whole text just to be sure and the only thing that didn't come across fully in the graphic novel was the whole sense of him forgetting his humanity.

"Wuthering Heights" by Emily Bronte - Heathcliff was a jerk and so was Cathy and I'm pretty sure there was a little something going on off-page.

"Flatland" by Edwin Abbott - One of the most classist, sexist things I've ever read. Worst of all, it has virtually nothing to do with math!

It's almost like in the past people didn't understand mental illness or have "Grey's Anatomy" or grocery store tabloids to keep them amused...

Axis

View My Road in a larger map

I always knew where my "stomping grounds" were but it didn't occur to me before that I have lived most of my life within a few blocks of the same main road. Pin locations are approximate. In a way it's kind of sad. In a way it's kind of nice.

Heavy Things

I carried all my mom's groceries up the stairs Saturday instead of taking multiple trips. I had flashbacks to band practice when I carried my bass and amp up two flights to the top floor of the apartments. I only carried my big amp once at the same time as the bass. That was a mistake. Later when I lent my practice amp to our keyboardist I carried both together.

I am strong now. My kids are big and strong. My 12yo is a little viking warrior. We never give up and we never back down. It's deceptive to be so strong. You know this.

In the Blink of an Eye

I've been thinking, "My boss is really good at quick decisions and I kind of suck at it..." I even read that book "Blink" in June although it turned out to be more about trusting your gut instinct than snappy comebacks.

I needed to fill for my boss but I didn't have enough info or enough time to get the info so I turned out to be wishy-washy and annoying instead of helpful. Worse yet, this exact situation happened almost exactly the same way back around Memorial Day. So why didn't I do better this time?

I'm used to doing cost-benefit analyses. I'm used to going for accurate decisions not necessarily snap decisions. I hate inconveniencing anybody ever. I think of this person as a peer not a subordinate so could only offer an opinion not a decision. I think the answer is yes but there is conflicting info so I can't be 100% sure so maybe that means no...

But then I realized my boss has resources I don't. If he was there, he would have gotten my "67% yes" opinion hours before, turned it into a firm yes and everyone would be happy.

I have some goals to improve. I have to know my audience. My boss and other manager like to talk things out so we can all be on the same page. So for others who only need the answer I should just say "I'll get back to you." Come to a decision, plan on second-guessing myself on purpose, work through that and don't come back with any answer until I go through it again. Still doesn't sound fast... I'll set a 20 minute time limit.

I'm going to start making notes of my hunches before my analyses and see how they match. I've had pretty good intuition over the years. I'm used to keeping tabs on how things are and "Huh, that's weird..." has led to problems and solutions. I'm dedicated to continuous improvement ("Kaizen!" : ) and working on different fronts simultaneously, balancing sales efforts with expenses, lead times and forecasts, etc. So as long as I stay connected, I should be able to trust my own judgement.

Waiting, Not Actually the Hardest Part

Took a half day off work yesterday to help my mom file some paperwork. Hundreds of people can just sit and stare at the walls without talking or reading. They must have very interesting thoughts. I'd like to be in on that.

Museum Solar Video!

Here is a 2 minute video about the environmental efforts at the Toledo Museum of Art. Cool!

TEDxDetroit video

Here is a video from TEDxDetroit. Dr. Gary Gabel.

Checking In

Busy weekend! Took my Mom to the store and cleaned her house Saturday. Took my kids to see "Cirque Du Freak: Vampire's Assistant". Did my shopping Sunday. Didn't make it to see my Dad but should be tonight!