States of Matter

We've been studying the Periodic Table of the Elements. So far we've learned Nebraska, Alabama, Arkansas, California, South Carolina, Minnesota, Colorado, Georgia, Missouri, Indiana, Montana, Louisiana, North Dakota, Pennsylvania and Maryland.

It's not so hard.

Uuh...

Woolean Boolean

When you're looking for things that are neither "this" nor "that", filter for things that are not "this" AND not "that".

But that's neither here nor there.

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Mashup I am not going to make: "Wooly Bully" and "Sunshine Superman"

Iron Mom

Me and the boys took my mom to see Iron Man for Mother's Day. It's a new Mother's Day classic! : )

I just want to say, there are not that many Audi's in real life. Clearly those cars were free. (Call me, we'll make a deal.)

It was raining this year... Last year, we went to the Zoo because women get in free. Several had mustaches.

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Mashup I am not going to make: "Iron Man" and "Cat's in the Cradle"

Good at Math

The other night I took my 11 year-old to the pet store. Once you've got hamsters, you have to accessorize with tubes.

My son told me, "Mom, you know I'm really good at math. Addition, subtraction, multiplication. Division if I have paper and pencil. I don't like fractions but I can do decimals. Let me help you with your work. I can help you."

I told him "Honey, thank you so much. But I don't feel like working tonight. Could you set up the DVD player so I can watch my movie?" He said sure, he'd even watch it with me. It was boring and we both fell asleep. : )

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Mashup I am not going to make: "Connection" and "No Rain"

Tree-Lined Sky

Driving home from work last night, Spring hit me with how nice it is around here. You can't look in any direction without seeing trees. (My kids point out this is not true for straight up and straight down. But I point out this could still be true if you were standing in a tree.) Even the gas station on the corner has an apple tree. Not sure they're safe to eat though.

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Mashup I am not going to make: "Smoke on the Water" and "Funky Town"

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Superpower of Marginal Utility: (Contributed by Z) Being able to tell what's being written by listening to the pencil movements.

Oh, There Goes a Rabbit

We went on a road trip Saturday. We went to Detroit to shop for R/C propellors.

Driving on 8 Mile Road is like a game show. 7 out of 10 cars go way too fast, while 3 out of 10 go way too slow and are placed randomly. The popular strategy is to switch lanes often, in case you get lucky. Red lights are like the wheel on Wheel of Fortune. You think it's stopped, but Oh! There goes another one. Oh! There goes another one.

On the way home we saw a Hummer Limo. Is this better or worse than a regular limo? General consensus: Worse. If you're going to get crazy, get crazy. I want to see a stretch VW. But there are probably a lot of amenities in the Hummer. My husband's thought: a voice-activated bar. When it can't understand what you want, you're done.

We Take Your Picture, Not Your Soul

When I was a kid, we used to drive the highway to this big fancy grocery store. Once in a while we'd check out the rest of the plaza, which contained an Olan Mills portrait studio. We'd look at the pictures in the window.

Okay, pretend you're ten and put this all together:

You saw a news story about puppy mills.

Your cereal is made by General Mills.

What's an Olan?

Oleo is fake butter that tastes like plastic.

The portraits have some weird sheen on them like fake brush strokes.

You heard that certain religions won't let their pictures be taken.

You saw the movie Soylent Green on TV.

You go to a funeral where an Olan Mills portrait is prominently displayed.

Glad to get this one sorted out! : )