Today

Today I took my Mom's boxes of photographs off my kitchen table. I took her photograph off my wall. I've never been one for photos of loved ones all around. It's not that I don't care, I get too emotional. When I had pictures of my children on my desk, I couldn't get anything done I'm more of a photo album kind of person. I like to get into it and reminisce, not just walk past my love on the way to the bathroom. Or not walk past, not be blind, be blind-sided. "Oh, Look..." I took her ashes down off my front shelf, underneath it was her death certificate. I wrapped it in a beautiful silk scarf from China. It's not that it was in my face, or in my way. I wasn't constantly tripping over a big black death-brick. It's just what does it mean, what do I do, this is incomplete, is she mine now? Do I have to want to keep this? Do I? I took everything, well not everything, but the things I mentioned above... I put them in the laundry room cabinet and closed the doors. They are not gone, they are set aside with honors, kept safe for when I am ready..