My Youngest

Here are the funny things my youngest son said just while I took him to Panera Bread today:

"Mom, I'm going to make a bumper sticker that says, 'Honk if you're Amish'. It's funny because they don't drive cars!"

He picked up the newspaper and said "I'm gonna cut you!"

We ate outside and he said "Pet Supplies 'Plus'". Is that where you have to go if your cat is really fat?"

Johnny's in the Basement

My kids are silly. This is a little un-PC, so don't take it seriously, they were just riffing...

I wasn't happy my oldest threw away his leftovers because maybe I might've wanted to take it for lunch tomorrow. So he says, "Oh I thought you were going to tell me about the starving children in Africa. FedEx should start a charity and give us all boxes so we can ship our leftovers to the starving children in Africa." And my other son said, "No, a vacuum tube. We could clean off the dishes and it would go "Shhoop! Under the ocean." And I said "They don't want your old nasty food! They want new food they can cook fresh themselves. Poor people want respect too. Did you know the poorest person in rags in India doesn't want used clothing? There is no Goodwill store in India. They don't want it because goodness knows who it used to belong to. They want money to buy new clothes." So my son said, "Okay, we can take the pneumatic tube and send it into a trough for animals to eat. Each family gets two pigs, a boy and a girl and if you eat your pig too fast you don't get piglets. The trough can stretch all the way across Africa." The other says, "It will the second structure visible from space, the Great Wall of China and the Subterranean Trough of Africa."

I'm Surprised They Feel That Way

 

I couldn't agree more. I'm also starting to get a little tired of my road being torn up.

Spackle Me Beautiful

story

This may be the funniest beauty product I have ever seen. It's like a mini paint bucket and roller. I love gadgets so I kind of want it except, ewwww...

I'm Just Wild About...

story
Gigantic helmets! : )

"Shut up! Gazoo says it's magic!"

Don't Forget

I found this stuck to the wall, about 3 feet off the ground. It appears to be a very important reminder from a small child. ...Who may be grown up by now, judging from the current color of this post-it, which has been there long enough to fade from yellow to white, but not long enough to turn yellow again.

Who is it from? What does it mean? A clue, from another time... A message, from another person... Or a pen-scratching, carelessly tossed in the air and miraculously caught on the wall, or stuck there, meticulously, to torment the curious. (Was it me?)

P.S. I am good! Just chillin'. No computer at home is a drag but I'm running around so much anyway. See you more soon! : )

When You're On a Holiday

I can't wait to see what these people do for the 4th of July! : )

Moonwalking

Piano Chat Improv

Weirdest Sentence Ever

"Aw, my sweet little guy's asleep and he needs a shave."

Welcome to my world.

Indeed

Yesterday. My 12yo said I really like the phrase "Like So", he said "I'll turn my chair to the side, like so... Then I will pick up my glass, like so..." And he did a whole series of things where he would say "like so" and my reply would be "Indeed." And a little while later he asked me to hand him the pepper and I did and I said "Here you go. Like so." and he said "Indeed!" And OMG I love my kids.

Rainbowology

I like how they call it "Bubble Solution". Lack of bubbles is a problem! : )

Ram...

Dial-A-Cure

I was on the phone with my doctor's office, on hoooooooold. They had a little hold music and interspersed were messages about how to get refills, your call is important to us, please stay on the line, etc.

Then they had a little advertisement for humor. "They say 'Laughter is the best medicine', and indeed, studies show it can lower your blood pressure, cause your body to release endorphins for natural pain relief, and improve your sense of happiness and well-being...."

Indeed. They should just play comedy albums on hold. People can hang up when they feel better.

"We'll bill ya!"

Candide

I finally finished this book!

Spoiler alert!






Everything turned out for the best after all.

Velvety Goodness!

Thanks Jim for the link to the Candy Hearts Generator!

Mysterious Ticking Noise

Scarecrow Zombie Song

Okay, I just made this up for my kids. It's kind of gross and it works best with some tickling! (I think my kids will be well-adjusted either because of, or in spite of me. Whatever! : )

If I Only Had Your Brain

I could while away the minutes,
chewing on your digits,
and cause you massive pain,
But it's unsatisfyin',
'cuz I'd much rather be fryin',
up your luscious juicy brain.

I could fire up the griddle,
and grill your chunky middle,
but it wouldn't be the same,
with the bones I'll be rippin',
I'll be using them for dippin',
in your yummy gooey brain.

I shuffle and I toddle,
but I'm thin as a model,
and not necessarily sane,
But I would not be just a zombie,
who works at Abercrombie,
if I could only eat your brain.

Finally!

They have designer Snuggies now! My couch potato fashion worries are over!

Board of Health

I took the boys to get H1N1 vaccines this weekend. They were prepared for huge crowds. Everything was cordoned off and the workers were in orange vests. They had like one family at a time every 5 minutes. After Z got his flu mist dose he daid "They practically water-boarded me. With diseases!" Cute.