Home Again

My Dad went to the hospital today but then they took him to dialysis. I wasn't able to see him yet and he will be back home this evening. I am kind of worried.

Plans to Train for Snakes

It came to my attention this morning that I know virtually nothing about snakes. I don't know which ones are the deadliest and which are venomous, which are constrictors and which ones eat corn. I don't know where different snakes are from, whether they are African or European, what they can swallow...

Part of the problem is that I am so spoiled. Where do you find rattlesnakes? Where do you find King Cobras? And Gila Monsters and Monitors and Giant Turtles? ...Uh in the Reptile House??? Thanks awesome Toledo Zoo! (And it's really nice with lots of WPA architecture.)

Thinking of architecture makes me think of Pittsburgh. I would love to go take a tour of their buildings and bridges. Very cool. I have mixed feelings about their Natural History Museum. Other than the rock and gem gallery, which is worth the price of admission by itself, it's mostly a lot of... Well see, the dinosaur skeletons and the ancient columns look so cool, but then you realize all these things are made out of plaster of paris, so... and then you realize, Wow, somebody made all these things out of plaster of paris! See, mixed feelings. It's not antiquity, it's art! : )

Still so happy I went to the Franklin Institute last summer and saw the Gallileo exhibit. I was mere inches from 2 of Gallileo's own telescopes. COOL!!!

So why am I worried about snakes? Because if I ever go on Jeopardy, I'll need to study this. Thanks random conversations, much obliged! : )

Kitty, Helloooooo???

We are still kittenless, but E has found the perfect kitty cat name: Katana.

That rocks!

To Fish or Not To Fish

Here is one of Jim's last posts on the Velvet Blog sort of about the common mistake of attributing the saying about giving out fish to the Bible. (It's midnight. The bad writing stands. LOL : )

I am bummed that he is going defunct. The only good thing is that I find defunct blogs very easy to follow. I will finally get a chance to catch up, even though I am reading into the past.

But it reminded me of a joke my son Z made up a few months ago: "If you give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. If you give a fish a man, he'll eat for months."

Ew! : D

Oh, and he wrote this yesterday on his wall. His friend asked, "If your house was on fire and you could only grab three things, what would they be?"

And Z said, "Ok. is this like that duck, fox, and grain thing? First I'd grab my house, take it across the river, then I'd take the fire across while taking the house back, I'd take the river across the river, then I'd take the house across!"

Sounds like a plan. : )

Also

Education is important too.

More Things

I was thinking. I think employment is important to me.

Notwalking

Last night I ran out to take the garbage out real quick and stubbed my toe on a RazR scooter. Ow, ow, ow, ow, OW! I don't know if it's really broken or not but it's not walkable.

Moonwalking

Stories Tall

I didn't feel well this morning because things didn't agree with me, but it still turned out to be a productive day because I got some projects finished at work. Now I can be buried in my backlog! Hehe, no it's cool...
The good thing is I can tear through massive amounts of work on things I'm familiar with and wrap things up quickly. So much faster than, "Okay, what is this?" : )

I am taking a break from stuff. I just put my heart in the cupboard and hid the key under my iPod. I have no idea when I come back if there'll be a shriveled raisin or something healthy and pink. I'll find out later.

I'm avoiding extremes. We're bowling with bumpers, now!

I thank my lucky stars for the boys... They are so smart and sweet and fun to hang out with. They can soak up just about anything I have to offer.

They know so many things but I need to learn and tell more stories for them. My Big Boss knows hundreds of interesting little stories and it's always fun to hear them the first couple of times.

As far as motivation goes, I can pretty much frame almost any of my goals in terms of trying to be a good Mom. A better-run household and healthy attitude are good things to work for.

But they don't really care how I look. My kids only prefer I stay somewhere in the middle of the joke spectrum between "Your Momma" and "Your Mom".

But we do seem to be unnecessarily proud of being tall and strong. Big fine German stock, Jå! Like we're going to go work on a farm or something, LOL! Hope I don't somehow end up a female bodybuilder. : P

Home

Went out to eat for the anniversary last night. My Lemon chicken was too sweet but it was pretty good anyway and I had a pretty nice time.

My Dad is finally at home. He is happy, doing well, eating something like Ensure, doing physical therapy and going to dialysis and I got to visit with him.

Today

Today is my anniversary.

Rock Band Game

I just got done playing Rock Band with my kids. Guess what I was good at? I got 100% singing all my songs and was practically duck-walking over that until my kids got 100%'s too. Maybe I'll turn it up to Medium difficulty next time. LOL! : )

It's E's 13th birthday tomorrow but he got his presents today. I think he is now just a hair shorter than me and if he goes to bed quickly may be officially taller than me by tomorrow.

We tried to find a cat today but had no luck. Apparently kittens are seasonal? Really?

Piano Chat Improv

Bar-B-Que

We were very busy today. It was my Mom's birthday! We got her a card and flowers and took her out to eat dinner. We had barbecue. Then we took her on her grocery run and did a couple of quick things for her at her place.

Then we did our grocery shopping to get through half the week.

Then I stopped out to see my Dad because I didn't get out to see him Saturday. He was sleepy.

Then I worked on stuff for a while. But my son started making me a custom character in his video game and so I got to help. When it was done, he wanted to battle me! It was actually pretty darn fun seeing a virtual me with a staff and chainmail parrying and whatever and kicking some butt. "Hi-Yah!" : )

Bar-Bar-Bar-Barbarian

Saturday was a total bust. But, got some tough love from a girlfriend and learned: a) I am not that special. b) Putting up with shit is not a badge of honor.

I had this tautology: I have carried a big load for a long time, therefore I must be strong and able to carry it.

I guess I'm trying to relate to movies a lot lately... I was thinking of Conan the Barbarian. Conan was captured by the enemy when he was a child. Along with a bunch of other prisoners, he was chained to a huge grinding wheel and they had to push it around every day. Years passed and the other prisoners had disappeared and they show Conan, big and huge, pushing the wheel all by himself. I was thinking how lucky he was to get a chance to be so strong. Not about how he was chained to a wheel for thirty years.

But anyway. I had to read my own blog to see "Can't I just take a break from improving anything for a few days?" I just need to take a break.

Thinking Outside

Thankful that I have decent friends who won't introduce me to drugs, give me their parents, or take any bullshit.

I don't remember ever being at the end of my rope like this. Feeling like there is no escape, hope, solution or way to deal. Now I realize three times people have confronted me and what could I really do, sorry. Remembering these examples and what happened to them, I know it's a really bad sign, the pointless last-ditch move of desperation for anything to improve.

Thinking in movie tropes...

[Here is a really fun and interesting website about TV and movie tropes, stereotypes and storyline cliches:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HomePage
Some interesting ones are the "manic pixie dream chick" and the "magical negro".]

I was thinking of scenes in movies where the evil flails around trying to hide or escape before it finally succumbs in a howl of pain. I'm flailing. What a disaster. I don't even want to talk to me.

I was thinking of scenes in movies where you fight off the ship that's slightly bigger than you only to discover, now that it's vanquished, that you didn't even notice the *MOTHER SHIP* that was there all along.

I was thinking of scenes in movies where the hero finally understands that help is not coming and starts stringing up paint cans from the ceiling or crawling through the underbelly of the plane. Maybe I am there already. I'm being creative. I'll try anything. I'm thinking outside the box.

Not Sure

I'm not sure I can make this work.

Hard to Be Hard

There are two or three things I could think of doing that would make me feel much happier.

They just all involve varying degrees of stupidity, creepiness, selfishness or weakness.

So. I will remain unhappy, but be happier for it, right? : )

Yay, me.

With a $4 Tip

Wait, what? One of the niggling thoughts that's been returning to me on and off today is, why did we leave a $4 tip on a $7 ticket? It really made sense at the time too! "Oh we hardly spent any money. It wouldn't be fair to the waitress." I think my friend may have guilt issues like me. Awesome, LOL!

Weirdest Sentence Ever

"Aw, my sweet little guy's asleep and he needs a shave."

Welcome to my world.

Every Day

I like to blog something every day just so everyone knows I am still alive ...and have not lost my flair for drama!

I am a little worried my subconcious will just take over and start a band or *something* while I'm not looking.

Chicken Tostadas - $2.75

My friend Pam took me out to eat at El Camino Real and we spent less than $7 by ordering Chicken Tostadas and water with lemon. Tons of chicken and lettuce and sour cream and some cheese. It's like an upside down salad. So yum! : )

She told me her niece is a marine biologist but I misheard it as "rainbowologist". But the conversation still moved ahead well for a while until I said "Really? You can determine water quality from rainbows?" Then we had to backtrack a bit.

Too funny!

From/To, Whatev...

You know I really can't GET extra happiness FROM my kids. I am supposed to be strong and GIVE it TO them. I need to quit leaking.

Indeed

Yesterday. My 12yo said I really like the phrase "Like So", he said "I'll turn my chair to the side, like so... Then I will pick up my glass, like so..." And he did a whole series of things where he would say "like so" and my reply would be "Indeed." And a little while later he asked me to hand him the pepper and I did and I said "Here you go. Like so." and he said "Indeed!" And OMG I love my kids.

Sing It!

Here's another depressing song I like:

Glen Hansard - When Your Mind's Made Up From the movie "Once".

This post was meant to be longer with lots of songs but what do you know, I'm tired again. Going to bed!

ZZZZzzzzz.....

Rainbowology

I like how they call it "Bubble Solution". Lack of bubbles is a problem! : )

ok

Yeah ok I had a really crappy weekend and I can't sleep so I will make some stupid posts to keep my spirits up...

Ed McMahon Isn't Coming

I'm trying to read this money book because I want some motivation to improve. Plus I am low on money and want to try to figure out the most effective plan forward. But I don't know if I can take this. Between the testimonial treacle of "we followed your plan and even though we were miserable, everything's wonderful" are just "WAKE UP PEOPLE" warnings and doom!!!* I sort of feel berated. I don't know if I can really take this right now. Can I just take a break from improving anything for a few days?

*I admit to being sort of addicted to exclamation points and smiley faces. But I use them for good, not evil. A dorkly-sweet personal style just feels right to me! : )

Ram...

Dial-A-Cure

I was on the phone with my doctor's office, on hoooooooold. They had a little hold music and interspersed were messages about how to get refills, your call is important to us, please stay on the line, etc.

Then they had a little advertisement for humor. "They say 'Laughter is the best medicine', and indeed, studies show it can lower your blood pressure, cause your body to release endorphins for natural pain relief, and improve your sense of happiness and well-being...."

Indeed. They should just play comedy albums on hold. People can hang up when they feel better.

"We'll bill ya!"

Jumping for Sharks

I was eating with my kids yesterday and conversation turned to how to fish from a submarine. We decided a net would be most efficient, but a harpoon would also be effective. (Okay, "more fun". Sorry, I have teenage boys! : )

Then we talked about TV shows. Wasn't it great when "Survivor" was more about survival. When we got to spend time in the ocean next to the guy with the spear. That was cool. You think you might learn a useful skill by watching. Now, it's all gossip and drama.

Another show that fell downhill: "Heroes" used to be about heroes. We would find new heroes and they would have cool and interesting powers. They would be captured by, and escape the bad guys. Now it's all drama.

Another show that went to pieces: "Numbers". You used to be able to at least hear about an obscure math topic that maybe you didn't know about, or even better say yes I know about combinatorics, I use a little VBA script in Excel for my Bank Recs. Now, Charlie practically says "I mathed it." and they send in the goons with the guns. And have some drama.

Anyway... Need to keep the essence of my life, not drama...

An Old Saw

After days and days and days of "I really can't stand to be this miserable. I was a fool to give up hope. Where can I get strength and hope?" I've come to "Well I guess I can stand to be this miserable." Actual coping is a coping skill.